Hawesome Dude

As the American Revolution ended and the new nation grew and prospered, the Hawesome family grew and prospered with it. The Hawesomes were counted among the elite of East Coast society, particularly in Boston and New York City. Some Hawesomes were not content with their station in life and craved the adventure that had driven their ancestors to exploratory and martial glory. Thus it was that in 1870s, some hundred years after the gallant and glorious exploits of "Wicked" Hawesome, one of his great-great-grandsons, young John Hawesome, all of 16 years old, decided to seek his fortune in the wild frontier lands west of the Mississippi.

John — or "Jack" as he was known — meandered in his travels and little is known of his early months in the West. "I spent my days and nights learning the trade of being of not much account," he once told a newspaper reporter, and upon this point he would not elaborate.

But Destiny and young Jack would soon converge in the small town of Cow Seat, Texas, situated between Fort Worth and the Texas border, a minor stopover for drovers and cowboys driving cattle north to Kansas on the famous Chisholm Trail.

In the early days of the Trail, Cow Seat was a happy, prosperous city. But by the mid-1870s, it was a town held in the grip of fear by one man: The vicious horse thief and outlaw known as Lee "Lyin' Lee" Hannon. Although history has not accorded him the longevity of Jesse James or Billy the Kid, in his day, Lyin' Lee was nefarious and feared by all. The local sheriff so lived in terror of Hannon that Lyin' Lee stood completely unopposed and was known to conduct his crimes in broad daylight, often on the main street of the town. In the words of one journalist of the day, "Lyin' Lee Hannon was to lawlessness as onions were to halitosis."

Hannon preyed on newcomers to the territory: not drovers, but "dudes" — the common vernacular for travelers from the more civilized cities and towns of the East, who were easily spotted by their "citified" suits and hats which, however finely tailored, were at best unsuited to the rigors of life in the West. At worst, in towns such as Cow Seat, their mode of dress marked them as targets.

Lyin' Lee Hannon's modus operandi was as unwavering as it was successful. If a fancily dressed newcomer arrived in town on horseback, Hannon would greet the unlucky individual with a cheerful wave and a cry of "Whoa Dude!" or "Ho Dude!" When the unsuspecting stranger would comply and halt his horse in order to return what appeared to be a friendly greeting, Hannon would shoot his victim without warning and take his horse, as well as any possessions of value he might have upon his person.

There is no official record of how many unfortunate souls were dispatched in this manner (Hannon claimed he had killed hundreds, but his powers of exaggeration were legendary, hence the moniker "Lyin' Lee.") Had Hannon been permitted to continue his criminal career unchecked, there is no doubt scores of unsuspecting "dudes" would have met their end in Cow Seat.

But Jack Hawesome was no mere dude. Every man in the Hawesome family learned how to handle both rifle and pistol from an early age and young Jack excelled in the use of both. What's more, two of his uncles, graduates of West Point and career Army officers, had taught him military tactics, which included the benefits of gathering intelligence. By the time he arrived in Cow Seat, Hawesome knew all about Lyin' Lee Hannon.

Young Jack had his faults too. For example, he was known for his quick temper and had once been expelled from a boy's academy for fighting. He was proud of his family name and on his travels west, he had grown annoyed at being referred to as a mere "dude," no matter how often he told people his name. Thus he was in extremely ill humor by the time he trotted into Cow Seat.

Hannon saw none of this, of course. When he first beheld Jack in his bowler hat, dark suit and spats, he simply saw another easy kill. And so Hannon stepped into the street, as he had so many times before, grinning with false good humor and crying, "Whoa, dude!"

Jack instantly shouted back "Hawesome! My name is Hawesome, sir!" However, the last part of this statement was lost in a hail of gunfire as Hannon drew, Hawesome reacted instinctively, and both men fired at the same time. Hannon's aim went wild, but young Jack shot the outlaw through the right nostril, killing him instantly.

The townspeople were so grateful, Jack Hawesome was soon made sheriff of Cow Seat. But true acclaim found him when the account of his battle with the notorious outlaw was published widely in newspapers back east. Like many other Western heroes, young Jack found himself the subject of several "dime novels," the cheap and tawdry pulp fiction of the day. The first of these novels was titled simply "Whoa Dude! Hawesome!" after the famous exchange of words between the two combatants (or at least, as much of the exchange as witnesses could hear). The story was so popular, several others Jack Hawesome novels followed throughout the 1870s (although most of them were based on actual events only in the loosest of ways.

For the next several decades, up until his peaceful death in 1910, the good folk of Cow Seat knew the sheriff as "Dude" Hawesome, which they meant as an endearment, though none dared say it to his face. Jack's trek west had given him a lifelong hatred of the term. The nickname does, however, mark the origins of a phrase of respect and admiration that would spread throughout the West, even as far as California.

Hawesome's exploits also made the land west of the Mississippi safer for eastern travelers. While on the lecture circuit in the late 1870s, Mark Twain commented on this fact in typical fashion.

"…it must be said that I have a grudge against Sheriff Hawesome, that he should have the audacity to be a mere babe when I was a hapless dude traveling the West [as recounted in Twain's book Roughing It]. Nowadays, pretty near any fellow in a fancy rig made to order in some metropolitan tailor shop may walk or ride unmolested throughout the whole of the West. Nefarious fellows and shifty types who once went about their business of murder and thievery in a brisk manner now must stop and ponder, and I assure it takes them some time to cogitate upon the matter. They must ask themselves, is the newcomer in the dandy woolen suit a dude, a mere sheep for the shearing? Or is he what they now call a "Hawesome dude," a fellow who's got sand, nerve...and a Colt revolver hidden under all that fancy wool? Yes sir, Sheriff Hawesome has much to answer for on account of his being born 15 years too late to suit my needs."