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Hawesome New World
"The land is beautiful to be sure, but beyond that, there is little here of interest and I find myself beset by the urge to seek territory that affords greater opportunities for both distraction and prosperity," Lord Hawesome recorded in his private diaries, voicing a sentiment that would later be echoed by countless generations of the region's inhabitants. When Hawesome pressed south, however, some of the families remained behind. Though they were indentured servants, bound by seven years labor to Hawesome, Honorus was a kindly lord and freed three of the families from their servitude. He also left them with a generous endowment of tools and supplies. In truth, the families were all skilled in trades for which the lord had little use in the new land, and it is here that the author begs his reader a brief digression on one family who would later figure largely in the history of the word "hawesome."
The family thrived in their new home and began trading fabric and soft loincloths with local (and thankfully friendly) native tribes. Within the decade, Knicker's Sons Silk Clothiers was well-known in the region. Alas, an argument between two of the brothers (the youngest, and the ones who were said to resemble Lord Hawesome) caused a schism that forced some of the Knickersons (for so they were now known) to settle the in different areas of New England. One offshoot of this family remained in New Hampshire and eventually lost the first letter of their name, but did not abandon their trade. And so several generations of Nickersons continued to provide quality undergarments to their fellow colonists throughout New Hampshire and Massachusetts. Meanwhile, Hawesome and his family began a journey of exploration that eventually took them to South Carolina, where Lord Hawesome, near the end of his life, saw his tobacco plantation finally become a reality. Before he died at the remarkable age of 84, Hawesome fathered 16 children (not counting the alleged Nickerson bastards), who in turn provided him with dozens of grandchildren. One of those grandsons would buy a commission in the British army and eventually return to New England, where he would play a pivotal role in the American Revolution and the further evolution of the word "hawesome." |
The noble family of Hawesome lived in relative obscurity for the next few centuries, until the early 1700s, when Lord Honorus, Earl of Hawesome, sailed for the American Colonies with an intention to start a tobacco plantation in South Carolina. Instead, owing to a drunken navigator and unfavorable winds, Hawesome and his party (which included several families, mostly tradesmen who were indentured servants to the Hawesomes) ended up running aground on the brief coastline of New Hampshire, not far from present-day Hampton Beach.
One of the families Lord Hawesome left behind was named Knicker. Tailors by trade, the Knickers specialized in undergarments (indeed, the English term for underwear--knickers--is believed to be derived from an ancestor of this family). It is certain that Lord Hawesome saw this family as surplus to his present requirements, and so left them, although he was extremely fond of them. When the head of the Knicker family died on the journey to the New World, Hawesome became a surrogate father to the surviving children (and some historians say he took the widow as a mistress and may have had children with her, citing as proof a marked resemblance between some of Knicker's sons and Hawesome himself, although there is no empirical evidence to support this).